Two weeks after
It’s been two weeks since I posted my huge piece about my hoarding and clutter struggle and it was an immense relief and I am so grateful for everyone who’s responded and offered help of any kind! I’d love to update with all the tales of things I’ve given or thrown away since but don’t have time right now.
A couple of the situations in my frantic postscript have improved — all my apps are back on my phone and I can get money again; I have money to pay this month’s storage space fees and got the new keys they had to send me and I need to move stuff (if there’s room) in IMMEDIATELY. Technically I’ve gotten in touch with family but we’re working on that. In other news, I finally got my first vaccine shot…but will have over three weeks in-between Chicago “fully reopening” (TOMORROW…or late tonight?) and being fully vaccinated, so, well, I needed to be at home cleaning anyway.
The main situation of being in the process of eviction because I haven’t paid May and June rent AND they don’t like that have all these boxes — has not changed, and I’m freaking out. I spent hours to move the boxes all over so at least they’re not piled high anymore, and, you know, so I can SEE what’s in them to sort them for what to do, but it made my place look worse. (And the friend who doesn’t mind my stuff wanted to visit but I had to turn him down, it really was much worse and I couldn’t move a bunch of boxes around late at night to accomodate anyone. Also, the place is terribly hot and stuffy, but I finally started opening windows again. The situation I described in my piece, of doing SO much more work in recent weeks and months than in my whole time in this apartment since 2013, but people not thinking it’s anything, is happening, and it’s devastating.
In addition to the progress not being noticed at all, there’s an absolute lack of empathy that I’m in mental health crisis (I can’t physically work this fast either), or that anything means anything to me, it’s just “throw it out.” My stuff is thousands of dollars of collectibles and decades of irreplaceable mementos…and a bit of junk mail and recyclables I haven’t sorted yet, yeah. I was hit with two more extremely painful claims, one, that my apartment “wasn’t like this” when I moved in, as in, I must have acquired it all since I moved. No, I’d say easily 90–95% of this stuff I moved in with. I had to get a full-size truck of pro movers on TWO different days (plus additional help from friends), a detail I was too embarrassed to put in the essay. Two, that I don’t have any friends who are going to help. I have multiple DMs, emails, comments that prove that wrong. Now I just need to call in that help. AND FAST.
